Welcome to the presidential campaign of a rock I literally found in my yard. It’s far better than the candidates you’ll find in the two Corrupt corporate parties. THIS ROCK’S CAMPAIGN HAS ALREADY ERASED $80,000 OF MEDICAL DEBT FOR STRUGGLING AMERICANS! (NOT KIDDING.)
The GrAyish-Brown Yard Rock On The Issues:
- Has never supported or defended Israel’s genocidal campaign against Palestinians.
- Has never supported a war (and never will)
- Has never supported an increase in Pentagon spending (and never will)
- Did not support the Global War on Terror that has killed roughly 6 million people
- Did not support the invasion of Iraq
- Did not support the invasion of Afghanistan
- Did not support the invasion of Libya
- Has committed no war crimes (and never will)
- Has committed no rape or sexual assault, nor even been accused (and never will)
- Does not support the capitalist exploitation of the working class (ie capitalism in general)
- Has never supported the US prison state – largest prison population in the world (and never will)
- Has not been involved in increasing the US prison state (and never will)
- Has never supported corporate tax cuts (and never will)
- Has never supported big pharma (and never will)
- Has never supported big ag (and never will)
- Has never supported big oil (and never will)
- Has never supported big banks (and never will)
- Has never supported corporate media (and never will)
- Has never endorsed the persecution of Julian Assange (and never will)
- Has never endorsed the propaganda known as Russiagate (and never will)
- Has never endorsed the anti-China propaganda (and never will)
- Has never supported cuts to food stamps, social security, medicare, medicaid, housing programs, public schools, infrastructure, or transportation (and never will)
- Has never raised questions about the veracity of the climate crisis (and never will)
- Has never supported the out-of-control police state (and never will)
- Has never endorsed the pathetic exploitative US healthcare system (and never will)
- Has never doubted or fought against Indigenous rights (and never will)
- Has never taken a dime from corporate America (and never will)
- No Super PAC funding
- Never accepted donations from big pharma, weapons manufacturing, etc. (this rock is not a puppet!)
- Has never voted to send arms to Israel
- Did not vote for latest spending bill
- Did not support Trump’s tax cuts for the rich
- Did not support the 2008 bank bailout
- Did not support the PATRIOT Act
- Did not support NAFTA
- Currently holds no assets in stock market
- No appearance on Epstein’s flight logs
- Never endorsed a Democrat or Republican candidate
- Has never cooperated or supported the FBI or CIA
- Is not white
- Has never appeared on SNL
- Supports the efforts of wild orcas to tip over yachts
- **If you can find a human candidate who fits all of these criteria, then support them. Otherwise, Yard Rock 2024!**